Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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