yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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