you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
