How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
