Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Congratulations! We have a period
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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