It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
