You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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