Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
