dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
