I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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