no, he came in my armpit
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
