I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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