absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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