All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
