so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
