he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
