I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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