if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
