Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
