Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
