I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
