she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
