loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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