I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I supernannyed him into submission
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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