what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
