someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
