I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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