It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
