And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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