walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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