im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
pray to the hookup gods
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
