My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
