And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I still have a little drunk in my system
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
