I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize