If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
