You really coming over, don't trick.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize