Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
