please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Barsexuality is the new black.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
