i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You are the jesus of drinking
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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