I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
