Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The power of my boobs compel you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
