She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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