Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
