walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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