We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize