So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
