Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
