We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
