You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
