Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
