I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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