It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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