After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
