If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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