They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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