Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
