There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
