I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
