Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
