Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
