I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
