I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
