i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
